


A Name For The Lost

by ImaWonder



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Memory Loss, Name Changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaWonder/pseuds/ImaWonder
Summary: Each warlock chooses their own name, unique and personal, with a meaning they hold close to their heart. Catarina Loss, however, chose a name for the lost.Or : a mini fic about the meanings of Catarina's name, inspired by the Malec Discord
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell & Catarina Loss
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	A Name For The Lost

Warlocks don’t have so many traditions. But they have one, almost sacred, yet there is no big ceremonies or celebrations : their names. For an immortal, rarely does a name given at birth fit for the rest of their lives, so a new one is chosen. Magnus Bane, the Great Destruction, Ragnor Fell, the Judgement Warrior, each have their own meanings and messages. And the last part of their trio, Catarina Loss. A woman who carries a story, a woman of a hundred faces, with a name which reflect that.

Each of two Loss. She lost so many people. Friends, foes, family or strangers, it doesn’t matter. She lost them all. Sometimes she couldn’t save them and they died. Sometimes she saved them and they got scared, and left her. It doesn’t matter. She lost them

Pure Loss. A pure feeling of abandon, disarray, the sheer horror of loosing someone. The raw feeling of pain when she realizes they _won’t come back_. Never. It doesn’t matter. She’ll loose them again.

Torture Loss. Torture, because she keeps inflicting this pain on herself. She could stop. She could lock her heart and herself away. She doesn’t. She keeps on trying, knowing the only result is pain. It doesn’t matter. She knows she’ll loose them again

One hundred Loss. How many did she try to save ? How many lived ? She couldn’t save them all. She failed so many of them. She tried her best, and _it wasn’t enough_. It doesn’t matter. How many did she loose ?

Far away Loss. It’s the worst part. The pain fades away. The guilt fades away. After a few hundreds year, she forgets them. Their name, their faces, she forgots it all. She shouldn’t forget them, no one deserve to be forgotten. She should remember. She doesn’t. She’s sorry, but she’s not really, since the guilt is long gone. It doesn’t matter. How many does she not remember loosing ?

Catarina Loss. A name with a hundred meanings for a woman with a hundred faces. A name for the lost, for the forgotten. A name for her. She is Catarina Loss, the one who remembers, who saves, who forget, who looses.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic (or mini fic I guess). It was inspired by the Malec Discord, where someone brought up warlocks names meaning, and Catarina's seemed so heart breaking I decided to write about it. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, or any critiques and leave a kudos if you liked it!


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